A lot of us have learned to survive in the workplace by being impossibly easygoing and pleasant. We’re afraid we’re going to screw up (rejection sensitive dysphoria amplifies these worries), so we think our bosses and co-workers will give us a break if we’re nice enough and go the extra mile. Our ADHD brains might even get a dopamine hit when we show our supervisors that they can count on us, no questions asked — even if it means falling behind on other priorities. These coping mechanisms — which are really self-sabotaging behaviors — are especially familiar to high-performing women with ADHD.

Behind perfectionism lies a self-loathing belief that things must be flawless, or else. In your case, you likely think that doing things perfectly all the time and saying yes to it all is what is keeping you employed. It’s time to start to challenge those beliefs.

[Self-Test: 14 Questions That Reveal Symptoms of Burnout]

Every day, when you start work, write down your priorities. This list becomes your dashboard — your guide through the day. When unexpected tasks or requests come in, refer back to your priority list. If your boss suddenly appears before you with a fire to put out, accept the task while politely asking which task from your priority list should be replaced. If it’s colleagues who come your way for help, kindly tell them that you can add their item to tomorrow’s priority list, since today’s agenda is already planned out.

Getting in the habit of establishing and adhering to boundaries will take time. You’ll be pushed out of your comfort zone and, I hope, see that you can still be a good, productive employee without resorting to self-sabotaging behaviors.

People-Pleasing Behaviors and ADHD: Next Steps

• Free Download: The Eisenhower Matrix for Prioritization
• Read: Simplify Your ADHD Life by Learning to Say “No”
• Read: Rising from ADHD Burnout
• Watch: Work Productivity Strategies for Adults with ADHD

The content for this article was derived from the ADDitude ADHD Experts webinar titled, “Interrupt the Cycle of Self-Sabotage in the New Year” [Video Replay & Podcast #492] with Tamara Rosier, Ph.D., which was broadcast on February 15, 2024.

SUPPORT ADDITUDE
Thank you for reading ADDitude. To support our mission of providing ADHD education and support, please consider subscribing. Your readership and support help make our content and outreach possible. Thank you.

Adults with ADHD stand to benefit uniquely from ChatGPT as an executive function tool. For one, it’s a helpful resource for overcoming procrastination. Anna, a reader from New Zealand, said she uses AI “to get a first draft done of some writing. It needed a lot of improvement, but it was great for getting me over that first hurdle.”

Lena, a reader from Florida who has autism and ADHD, celebrates AI for its ability to help neurodivergent people with communication skills. “Having the scripts to be able to communicate effectively is so important. ChatGPT can help us hash things out so that we feel more prepared, comfortable, and confident in communicating with others.”

AI chatbots can also help adults with ADHD stay organized and productive. Ask it to:

• Create an easy dinner recipe from a list of ingredients you have in your kitchen
• Draft an email response to your colleague with a professional or friendly tone
• Summarize the notes you took during a work meeting or class discussion
• Develop a customized weekly schedule based on your family’s commitments

[eBook: Getting Things Done with Adult ADHD]

Tread lightly; AI makes mistakes and sometimes shares false information. Still, the ability to hand off or get assistance with a wide range of daily responsibilities can save you time, money, and stress. Check out the ways ADDitude readers are using AI chatbots at work and at home, below. Remember to be specific and add plenty of context in your own prompts, and try rephrasing if the chatbot doesn’t understand your question.

How to Use ChatGPT, According to ADDitude Readers

“As a teacher, I used ChatGPT for suggestions on what to say on report cards.” — Natalie, Indiana

“I’ve used ChatGPT to help translate medical test results to plain English.” — An ADDitude reader

“I’ve asked it to give me an activity schedule for our kid’s summer break with places to visit in our area.” — Jean, California

“I had [AI] help me write a stressful work email so I didn’t have to fight as hard to find the ‘right’ words. I also had it help with rewording some overly complicated paragraphs to make a report more streamlined.” — Tina, Massachusetts

[Read: How to Take Better Notes in Meetings]

“I searched for how to say something in ‘teen language.’” — Jennifer, Colorado

“I used HeyPI to help calm me down and found it very helpful.” — Karen, South Africa

“AI tools have helped make my writing more concise. I’ve also used AI to get me started on letters of recommendation and as a tool to break down larger tasks into smaller ones. Goblin Tools is amazing for this.” — Paul, New York

“When I developed my website, I wanted to use terminology that would attract potential clients. ChatGPT was helpful in giving me a draft starting point.” — Katrina, Washington, D.C.

“I’ve only used it to write weird stories about topics like: ‘What do you think a dolphin would have to say about humanity?’” — Eileen, Pennsylvania

“I used it to help write my resume. Best resume in 25 years. [AI makes it] easy to cater to the job posting and produces simple, straightforward text rather than ADHD brain ramble. I can’t wait to learn more!” — A., Canada

“[I use it] to talk to someone and not have to worry about saying something wrong.” — Derek, Canada

“I do not have ADHD but my husband does, and he uses ChatGPT frequently in his work as a product designer. He showed me how to use it, and I immediately grasped how enormously helpful it could be for our 15-year-old daughter with ADHD who has a lot of trouble starting assignments. She uses the chatbot to ‘talk it out’ — as if it were her tutor — and then has no problem editing the results into something uniquely hers. After showing her how it works and seeing how she uses her judgment to filter the results, I have no problem with her using it as a tool and feel that it could be an incredible help for kids with ADHD.” — An ADDitude reader

“My brain is very strong on visual processing, but I live and work in a world where language is the primary tool of communication. Therefore, I use ChatGPT to generate language output suggestions in order to speed up some of my mandatory tasks. In professional contexts, this includes summaries of meeting notes or phrasing parts of articles and blog posts. At this point in time, my prompt engineering skills — in combination with the workings of ChatGPT — only generate limited valuable output, but I expect this to improve over time.” — Lene Marie, U.K.

Executive Functions Tools for ADHD Brains: Next Steps

• Download: The Eisenhower Matrix for ADHD Decision-Making
• Watch: Strategies to Externalize Time, Memory, Motivation
• Read: Quirky Productivity Hacks to Conquer Boredom

SUPPORT ADDITUDE
Thank you for reading ADDitude. To support our mission of providing ADHD education and support, please consider subscribing. Your readership and support help make our content and outreach possible. Thank you.

Managing expectations at work is a juggling act. It requires planning, prioritizing, communication, and other skills that are already challenging on their own for many individuals with ADHD.

Are you already feeling overwhelmed at work? Or are you feeling inspired to take on more? Either way, this guide to help you understand, set, and meet expectations at work from start to finish.

1. Determine and Clarify Expectations

Many of us show up to work with only a vague sense of what’s expected of us. This is where the problems around getting things done start.

• Double check your understanding of expectations for tasks that you’re asked to perform — regardless of how long you’ve been in a role. As you prepare your questions, think about the gray areas of your job. They’re where you tend to run into problems.
• If you’re offered a new project, don’t accept it immediately. Prepare a list of questions about that project’s requirements. What’s the timeline? What results are expected? Get rid of any uncertainty before you say yes. If you’re asked to give a presentation, for example, ask about its desired format and length. You should also ask about any procedure you should follow (like templates, logos, fonts) and about takeaways, draft deadlines, and so on. Save these questions as a template for future projects.
• Develop a system for documenting expectations. Save and file them so you can refer to them (without relying on memory). Do not wait for or rely on someone else’s meeting notes.
• Use this handy script to ensure you’ve gotten the expectations right: What you want me to prepare for you is [service/product/result] with the following [parameters] by [deadline]. Is this correct?

2. Review and Negotiate Expectations

How will expectations around your prospective project fit with your current workload? Figuring this out will take time and thought.

• Before you say yes, buy yourself time to think. Use a script like, “Let me check my projects before I commit to this. I want to make sure I meet your timelines.” Be sure to include a reasonable time frame in which you’ll follow up.
• Make an appointment with yourself to review the project. Block enough time to compare its requirements in relation to your current projects. Tentatively plot the new project’s milestones onto your calendar.
• Triple your guesstimates if you have never done a similar project and have no clue how long its tasks will take to complete.
• Negotiate new timelines. Taking on the new project may mean reprioritizing your current projects. Be prepared to negotiate alternative timelines for those projects too. If there are any events that may affect deliverability on the new or existing projects, say, “I’m thinking the timelines will be okay as long as [event] doesn’t happen. And if it does, I’ll let you know.”

[Get This Free Download: How to Manage Your Time at Work]

3. Meet Expectations and Deadlines

Even with the clearest expectations, things can get tangled up in execution. Procrastination, distractions, and/or executive dysfunction can all get in the way.

Create a Work Plan

• Identify up to three significant tasks to do per project per week. Don’t worry about identifying all project tasks for upcoming weeks. That’ll eat up lots of time, and tasks are likely to change.
• Timebox the week’s tasks into your calendar. With timeboxing, you get a specific amount of time to work on a task. You move on to the next item once time is up, even if you haven’t finished. This strategy ensures progress. It also helps you avoid overthinking your work and procrastinating. As you timebox, factor in transition and buffer time to manage the unexpected.
  • How to get started with timeboxing: Develop time estimates based on your current work patterns. Then, time yourself and compare your estimates to reality. Even if you realize you need an extra hour for a task, do not continue working on it past its scheduled time. You’ll allow for that extra hour as you timebox tasks for the following week.
• Account for your energy patterns and the nature of the tasks as you arrange your calendar. If you’re most alert in the morning, for example, schedule your tough, deep-thinking tasks for that time of day. Some tasks are harder than others because they demand focus or because you don’t like them. Before starting a challenging task, tackle a short, easy task to kickstart your brain.

Create Interruption-Free Zones

• Eliminate distractions from your work area. Get rid of desk clutter and materials for competing priorities.
• Prevent interruptions. Announce uninterrupted time by showing yourself as “busy” on your work calendar. Give friendly but firm notice. Say, “From [time frame], I need to work uninterrupted. Please come back/call back later. If you need to reach me, send me an email instead.”
• Prepare a script to deal with interruptions. Say, “I’d love to talk to you right now, but I’m focused on this project, and I don’t want to lose my flow. How about we talk at [new time]?”
• Don’t switch gears. If inspiration strikes in the middle of a task, write your thoughts in a catch-all document. Then get back to the task at hand.

Maintain Momentum

• Inject interest, novelty, competition, and/or urgency into the task. Novelty, for example, could be a temporary change to your work environment.
• Body double. Working in the live or virtual presence of others (i.e., body doubling) is an effective tool for many people with ADHD.
• Decrease decision fatigue by maintaining routines and habits. Instead of wondering when to check your emails, commit to doing so at 9 a.m., 12 p.m., and 4 p.m.
• Practice extreme self-care and stress management. You are only as productive as your brain allows you to be.

[Read: DIY ADHD Accommodations for Your 9 to 5 Job]

Communicate Progress

• Plan regular check-ins. Share your project’s status with your supervisor, client, or colleagues.
• Report. At the end of each week, email a bulleted list of project status. Share what’s done, next steps, and any snags you’ve hit (along with solutions and contingency plans).

Aim for Excellence, Not Perfection

• Perform only to the accepted standard. Do only what you’re asked to do. This doesn’t mean you deliver sloppy, shoddy work. Perfection isn’t real, and striving for it will only eat up time, skew expectations, and reduce productivity.

Managing Expectations at Work: Next Steps

• Free Download: 5 Powerful Brain Hacks for Focus & Productivity
• Read: An ADHD Cheat Sheet for Effective Workplace Communication
• Read: Popular Productivity Advice That Torpedoes the ADHD Brain

The content for this article was derived, in part, from the ADDitude ADHD Experts webinar titled, “GTD @ Work w/ ADHD: How to Set Expectations, Meet Deadlines & Increase Productivity” [Video Replay & Podcast #431] with Linda Walker, PCC, which was broadcast on November 15, 2022.

CELEBRATING 25 YEARS OF ADDITUDE
Since 1998, ADDitude has worked to provide ADHD education and guidance through webinars, newsletters, community engagement, and its groundbreaking magazine. To support ADDitude’s mission, please consider subscribing. Your readership and support help make our content and outreach possible. Thank you.

Job accommodations make it possible to perform professional responsibilities with a physical or mental disability.¹ Documentation of a disability is often required to secure approval of formal accommodations, which can lead to real-life consequences, despite ADA protections. HR channels can also take time to negotiate.

Taking the first step toward workplace accommodations can be intimidating, but it doesn’t have to be complicated or risky. There are plenty of small adjustments you can make at work immediately, for free, and without disclosing a diagnosis.

We asked ADDitude readers: What are your most creative self-accommodations to stay organized, meet deadlines, communicate with coworkers, and satisfy job duties? Read on for reader suggestions, plus additional tips from ADDitude’s recent webinar on invisible disabilities at work.

DIY Workplace Accommodations

“When I meet new co-workers, I tell them, ‘I need everything in writing.’ Due to an auditory processing disorder, verbal instructions don’t make sense to my ADHD brain. Being able to search requests in old emails… is crucial for me when working with a team.” — Nicole, Ohio

[Download: Get Control of Your Life and Schedule]

“[My biggest challenge is] staying focused in a therapy session without talking. It’s tough to be present when my brain moves so fast and jumps to the next question. I use a small bicycle chain fidget and I normalize using a fidget for focus and expending physical energy. A good amount of my clients have ADHD, so it helps with modeling. And writing things [down] from the session helps my memory [in the] long term.” — Christina, a clinical social worker in Massachusetts

“I have recently developed a strategy where, at the end of each working day, I write a to-do list for the next day. I then take my to-do list to my calendar and time block each of those tasks into the day, leaving space for breaks. It sets me up for the next day and reduces the anxiety and overwhelm I so often experience in the mornings. It also helps to see if I have too much on my to do list and forces me to prioritize.” — Amy

“I block out time in sections on Outlook, making myself switch to the next task and adding an extra slot for unfinished work later on in the day. I also draw boxes on a page and group jobs together. I make lists and then assign a number to order them by priority, not allowing myself to deviate — trusting that my previous decision was thought through more carefully, and only changing if new information says I should.” — Laura, U.K.

“I use Tasks in Outlook for everything. Many are recurring (weekly, monthly, yearly) and some are marked important. I have tried so many different approaches, but this gives me the best overview of my tasks by far.” — Maria, Iceland

[Read: How to Finish What You Start]

“I was not getting my post-session paperwork done because I hated doing it! But as a psychologist, notes are critical — especially to prevent liability — so my bosses are always on my back about it. Think of Monsters, Inc.: ‘Where’s your paperwork, Wizowsky?’” I followed a three-step hack. First, I created a contingency that I couldn’t go on any other website until I finished the note. Second, I timed myself to determine just how long it takes to complete a note, which was seven minutes. Third, now that I had a length of time, it was easier for me to focus on this micro-task and manufacture a sense of urgency. I did this by setting a seven-minute timer, and sometimes even racing myself to see if I could beat my average time. Score!” — Michael, a psychologist in New York

“Working memory is a big struggle for me. I’ve developed a system using Microsoft To Do that allows me to keep track of my tasks… One of the most helpful parts is a ‘Waiting for Response’ list. When I send out an email to someone, for instance, and I need a response from them, I’ll add that ‘task’ to the list and give it a due date a few days down the road. If that due date comes, they haven’t responded, and it’s urgent, I know to send a reminder (I then add that reminder email to the task so I know when I followed up). If it’s not urgent, I just extend the deadline a few more days out. This way, nothing falls through the cracks. This process has been instrumental for me to feel like I have a grasp on everything that’s going on. My non-ADHD boyfriend actually adopted the Waiting for Response list himself.” — Natalie, Pennsylvania

“Report writing is very challenging due to the enormous time involved (executive functioning issues, eh). It’s coming along, but there is still a lot of wasted ‘overcompensating time’… One professional writer gave me this tip: Use the ‘kitchen sink’ approach for the first draft. Instead of grinding out hours to compile a dreary first draft, just put down the thoughts in point form. Then go back to it and configure it for the second draft.” — Jonathan, a writer in Ontario

“Something really helpful for me that I haven’t seen anyone else talk about is narrating my activities on paper. I often write conversationally to myself in a notebook as I work through tasks. An actual example from yesterday: ‘Okay, first we’re going to check out that email we’ve been avoiding. He’s referencing drawing A102, let’s go open that up. Cool, done. So he’s talking about room 202, let’s find that room. Okay, I see what he’s saying; there’s no wall type called out. Where can we find that information for him?’ And so on. I’ll often use bullet points or highlight important bits so it doesn’t turn into one big, overwhelming block of paragraph. Narrating my steps like this helps me take what feels like an overwhelming task and slowly walk through it step by step. It also helps with my working memory struggles since my entire thought process is right there on paper whenever I need to look back at it.” — Natalie

“I used to work in a community mental health center and would get interrupted by a phone call multiple times a day. It was necessary for us to log the exact minutes we spent doing something. I found it helpful to keep a designated notebook… to keep track of all of the calls and work that was completed. I also wrote down and highlighted something that had to get finished that day. If it didn’t get finished, I was able to go through the previous pages and simply find the highlighted unfinished tasks. I also started wearing noise-canceling earbuds as the noise would disrupt me and I’d want to engage in random conversations around the office. Keeping the ear buds in limits the distraction and temptations to get off track.” — Leah, Arizona

Additional ADHD Accommodations:

• Ask your manager if you can minimize marginal functions — such as taking out the trash or making photocopies — that break up the workday.
• Put hyperfocus to work. Set aside uninterrupted time to work on a project or task. Be sure to block out meetings and other interruptions during this time.
• Take advantage of potential coaching or mentorship services offered by your organization.
• Purchase a white-noise machine.
• Wear noise-cancelling headphones.
• Ask about social interactions at work: whether they’re required, and if it’s frowned upon to decline workplace gatherings.
• Request to receive pre-meeting agendas and post-meeting minutes over email.
• Advocate for “do not disturb” signs on desks or office doors.
• If you work better in a closed-off space, request to work in the corner of your office or in a low-traffic area.
• Ask if an adjusted workday schedule is reasonable — including flexible start or end times.
• If old office lighting bothers you, ask your office manager to order LED tubes.

Do It Yourself with ADHD: Next Steps

• Download: The Eisenhower Matrix for ADHD Decision-Making
• Read: The ADD Life Hacks That Work for ADDitude Readers
• Read: 15 Best Journals & Planners for 2023: Our Readers’ Favorites

Sources

¹U.S. Department of Labor. (n.d.) Job Accommodations. https://www.dol.gov/general/topic/disability/jobaccommodations

For many adults with ADHD, task switching like this at work is a vicious cycle, leaving them feeling hopeless — and helpless.

You can stay focused, switch tasks, and get things done using the WORK SHIFTS strategies below.

Task Switching Strategies for ADHD Brains

• Write down what you were doing when your task was interrupted so that you can easily resume your work. Think of it as a bookmark to hold your place in the work process.
• Omit unnecessary distractions so you can focus on finishing your project. Put your phone in a drawer, close your email, and block distracting websites and apps. Work on major projects early or late in the day when the office is quieter, and you can concentrate for solid stretches of time.
• Rank your work responsibilities. Discuss your work priorities with your supervisor so you can respond appropriately to interruptions in your workday.
• Know that transitioning is difficult. Block off time for it on your schedule. Acceptance and planning for transitions can lessen stressful feelings and help you avoid falling behind on your work.
• Schedule communications, telephone calls, and work conversations rather than waiting for people to contact you spontaneously at a time that will most likely interrupt your workflow.
• Have a To-Do List and update it each time you switch tasks. Keeping a running log of your progress will motivate you to complete tasks.
• Invent a routine that tells your mind when you are about to lock into a concentrated task. Consider taking deep breaths, shrugging your shoulders, or doing jumping jacks to signal to your brain that you are transitioning into focused activity.
• Finished tasks mean celebrations. Check off completed jobs from your To-Do List. Then reward yourself by moving around, refreshing your brain with some brief exercise, listening to your favorite song, or getting a drink of water or a snack. Celebrating the small successes will motivate you to keep moving forward.
• Tell others you are busy (kindly). Let people know when you are working on a deadline or post a “Do Not Disturb” sign on your workspace when you need to work without interruption.
• Set up your day by chunking responsibilities with similar characteristics together so that you can multitask between them more easily. Aligning similar tasks will help you avoid the chaotic and sometimes dazed feeling of shifting too quickly between very different tasks.

[Get This Free Download: 6 Ways to Retain Focus (When Your Brain Says ‘No!’)]

Multitasking Not Working? Next Steps

• Free Download: The Daily Routine for Adults with ADHD
• Read: Whatever Happened to Good Old Singletasking?
• Q&A: “When I Multitask, Nothing Ever Gets Completed!”

Peak productivity doesn’t just happen. It takes focus, motivation, effective communications skills, time-management acumen, and determination — many of the executive functions skills impaired by ADHD. Different thinkers require different strategies for getting things done (GTD) on the job. This webinar will suggest work-arounds to help individuals with ADHD improve their performance at work and even exceed expectations.

In this webinar, you will learn:

• How to apply a three-step approach to managing the biggest pitfalls of ADHD at work
• How to clarify, manage, and meet expectations with your supervisor, colleagues, and clients
• About the best techniques to stay focused, be productive, and meet your deadlines
• Key strategies to communicate effectively and with authority

Watch the Video Replay

Enter your email address in the box above labeled “Video Replay + Slide Access” to watch the video replay (closed captions available) and download the slide presentation.

Download or Stream the Podcast Audio

Click the play button below to listen to this episode directly in your browser, click the symbol to download to listen later, or open in your podcasts app: Apple Podcasts; Google Podcasts; Stitcher; Spotify; Amazon Music; iHeartRADIO.

More on Productivity at Work with ADHD

• Download: How to Manage Your Time at Work
• Read: 7 Secrets to Maximum Work Productivity
• Read: Practical Work Strategies for Clever ADHD Brains

Obtain a Certificate of Attendance

If you attended the live webinar on November 15, 2022, watched the video replay, or listened to the podcast, you may purchase a certificate of attendance option (cost: $10). Note: ADDitude does not offer CEU credits. Click here to purchase the certificate of attendance option »

Meet the Expert Speaker:

Linda Walker, a professional certified coach, helps entrepreneurs and professionals with ADHD to shift from a life of chaos and overwhelm to productivity and control. Her unique strategies, tools, and approaches have empowered hundreds of neurodivergent entrepreneurs, professionals, and other creative geniuses.

Since 2005, Linda has created programs combining group coaching, online training, and community to address challenges with productivity for people with ADHD. She’s the author of With Time to Spare: The Ultimate Guide to Peak Performance for Entrepreneurs, Adults with ADHD and Other Creative Geniuses (#CommissionsEarned). Get your copy of the Top 3 Creative Genius Productivity Hacks and be informed about her next free online workshop at www.CreativeGeniusReport.com.

#CommissionsEarned As an Amazon Associate, ADDitude earns a commission from qualifying purchases made by ADDitude readers on the affiliate links we share. However, all products linked in the ADDitude Store have been independently selected by our editors and/or recommended by our readers. Prices are accurate and items in stock as of time of publication.

Listener Testimonials

“This is the webinar I’ve most needed. Thank you so much, pure gold dust!”

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The sponsor of this ADDitude webinar is…

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Fidgeting even makes tedious chores and monotonous tasks tolerable, according to the ADDitude readers who recently shared their go-to fidget activities — from doodling (most mentioned) to counting letters in people’s words (most inventive) — and recommended their favorite fidget toys. Pop It, anyone?

Do you knit while watching TV? Chew gum while studying? What fidgeting technique helps you focus? Share your favorite ways to fidget in the Comments section below.

“I am a definite phone pacer! I am notorious for getting a few thousand steps in with a longer phone call.” — An ADDitude Reader

“Yes! I have a giant box of fidget toys. My favorites are Tangles and Pop Its. I am 27 and have no shame in needing fidget toys to focus and regulate my sensory processing issues.” — Kelly, New Jersey

[Free Guide: How Fidgets Improve ADHD Behavior]

“If I’m listening to a public lecture, I will often create acronyms of things I hear. Suppose I’m at home listening to a webinar. In that case, I may doodle, spin in my chair, bounce my knee, crochet, or rearrange nearby things. Being still is torture.” — Diane, Hawaii

“I have always had a strange habit of counting out the letters in people’s words. It helps me focus on what’s being said. I tap them out on the back of my hand!” — An ADDitude Reader

“Though I’ve been counseled to avoid multitasking, I feel this strong compulsion to play games on my phone. This has become my fidget when I’m in line, in the drive-through, during conversations, at traffic lights… I can hardly stand to do one thing at a time. ” — Val, Texas

“I’m 40 years old and have always needed to shake and bounce my right leg whenever I sit and do something. Now I realize it’s my fidget and way of keeping myself stimulated and focused while working.” — An ADDitude Reader

[Self-Test: Do I have ADHD?]

“I always doodle when taking notes. It keeps me interested enough in what is being discussed, but my mind can wander on the page via my drawings. Bonus, I can explain a concept to myself visually if needed.” — Nicole, Ohio

“I do an easy or moderately difficult Sudoku puzzle while talking on the phone, and I listen to the radio or a podcast while doing chores around the house, like ironing, loading the dishwasher, or when I take a shower.” — An ADDitude Reader

“It’s not preferred, but skin picking is what I end up doing most of the time. Sometimes I listen to instrumental music. No lyrics; that would be too distracting.” — An ADDitude Reader

“I often mindlessly play with my hair, twirling it around my finger when reading, watching movies, or even while driving. Usually, I don’t realize I’m doing it. I also have magnetic fidget toys, but they can be loud. Again, I don’t realize how loud until someone nearby tells me. I also must have music on while in my office at work. I tell my boss (who also has ADHD) that if I didn’t give the monkey in my brain something to do while I’m working, we’d all be in trouble.” — Christina, Arizona

“Alcoholism is part of my story, and knitting is my preferred ‘fidget,’ especially when I’m in one of my AA meetings. I hear the speaker more clearly and can listen much more effectively if I knit. If I don’t, my mind goes off in a thousand other directions, or I get the urge to stand up, get coffee, go ‘breathe’ outside, or go to the bathroom (even if I don’t need to!). Knitting engages my mind just enough that I can only do one other thing i.e., listen to something really important!” — Susan, Australia

“Music. I use music to get through most activities that I either dislike or require concentration. Listening to music is how I’ve managed to get my university degrees. People say you can’t listen to music with lyrics and type an essay or revise an essay simultaneously. I wholeheartedly disagree. This alone should have probably indicated that I might have ADHD.” — An ADDitude Reader

“I love to doodle! Steno pads and Gelly Roll pens allow me to doodle and listen at the same time. I also really appreciate fidget rings or just rings in general. I can discreetly twist them or spin them without much disruption.” — An ADDitude Reader

“When I have no audience, I click pens, shred paper, make noises, talk to myself, or tap my fingers. When I’m holding my restlessness down (like at work) but still have energy, I swivel in my chair, itch my arms or legs, run my fingers through my hair (or put my hair up and down), munch on something crunchy, or twirl something around my finger.” — An ADDitude Reader

“I am a 41-year-old nurse and a single mom of two boys. I will be on the phone with patients and doodle on a notepad or color. Yes, I keep a mini coloring book in my office. I have always done things like this.” — Jami, Texas

Fidgeting for ADHD Focus: Next Steps

• Free Download: Free Download: How to Focus (When Your Brain Says ‘No!”)
• Read: Fidget Toys for Adults
• Learn: How Fidgeting Sharpens Focus

SUPPORT ADDITUDE
Thank you for reading ADDitude. To support our mission of providing ADHD education and support, please consider subscribing. Your readership and support help make our content and outreach possible. Thank you.

I can’t pinpoint the exact moment I decided to stop taking ADHD medication or when I took my last dose. By the time I graduated college, I was convinced that I had outgrown ADD and no longer needed to take any pill, and I believed it for many years.

I had a successful career and a fulfilling personal life, all without medication. What more proof did I need that pills weren’t for me? Then the pandemic hit – and all the structures, supports, and routines upon which I had unknowingly relied to manage my ADHD symptoms (which lay dormant all these years) had vanished overnight. Unable to cope, I found myself back on ADHD medication for the first time in about 14 years.

I was initially disheartened by going back on medication in my mid-30s. But it forced me to reconcile with my childhood experiences and internalized stigma and shame around ADHD. I was diagnosed with ADD (now called inattentive ADHD) when I was 11 in the late ‘90s. I had it all – a disorganized desk and locker, difficulties staying focused, and periods of scattered hyperactivity. My teachers described me as “lazy” to my parents and remarked on how I’d distract others in the class.

I spent much of my childhood and adolescence cycling through different treatments. By college, I had admitted that I hated how the medication made me feel and how it changed my personality.

Off medication, I functioned pretty well. I developed and adhered to routines that made my day-to-day more manageable. I went into a profession that suited my high-energy mind. All was well until 2020, when the pandemic forced me to work remotely.

[Get This Free Download: The Daily Routine that Works for Adults with ADHD]

Did the Pandemic Give Me ADHD?

Working from home – a two-bedroom New York apartment that I share with my girlfriend and six pets — was OK at first (if not a little distracting). I welcomed a break from my commute and liked sleeping in. Added bonus: I didn’t have to wear pants all the time!

Once a storage room with a spare bed, the second bedroom became my office. I set it up with a laptop, rigid steel chair, and an old wooden end table. I’d spend most of my time in the 10×9 room, including many late nights meeting deadlines and battling a swarm of endless emails.

Weeks and months went by and, eventually, I realized the setup wasn’t working. I had reached a low point. I felt anxious all the time and had trouble sleeping. Every morning, I’d lie down in the shower and let the hot water wash over me as I tried to calm down (and catch some extra rest after a sleepless night). I lashed out at my girlfriend and started to drink just to numb the bad feelings. It took one big, nasty fight with my girlfriend to realize just how far I had fallen.

“Hello, ADHD. I See You Have Returned.”

I thought upgrading my office setup would brighten my mood. My company happily provided me with a whiteboard, a separate monitor, and other tools. My wonderful girlfriend gifted me a new desk and office chair for my birthday. These changes tremendously improved my comfort, but the results were short-lived. I still remained unable to ward off my worries.

[Read: 10 Expert Coping Strategies for Pandemic Anxiety]

Then I took advantage of budding telehealth options. I took anti-depressants and waited to feel something. (The Internet said I’d feel worse before I felt better.) But it never got better. Instead, I spiraled and reached an even lower point.

This wasn’t the answer. But what was? I tried to work backward. I feel depressed, I thought, but that is because I’m constantly overwhelmed, stuck, and anxious. Could it be anxiety? No – that’s too on the surface. So, what’s causing the anxiety?

My a-ha moment: I was anxious because I was scattered. My routines were gone, and distractions were everywhere. Work and life became a tricky balance of time management – never my strong suit. ADHD had been there my whole life. It just took a back seat and waited for me to recognize it again.

Clearly, I needed to see an ADHD specialist. Though I worried about going back on medication, especially after all this time, I figured there’s no harm in dipping a toe back in the water. I could always stop again as I did many years ago.

ADHD During the Pandemic and Beyond

The first day back on medication was a revelation. Gone was the robotic after-effect I felt in my younger years. This time I was in control. After medicine came talk therapy, and slowly, work became more manageable. Then I looked at the big picture. With a new sense of control, I could fix my bad habits and override impulsive urges. I drank less, started to eat nutritious foods, and went to the gym consistently – something I hadn’t done since college.

To say that I’m entirely out of the woods would be an oversimplification. I still have down days, and I sometimes forget to take my medication. But I’m in a better place than I was at the pandemic’s start. I’m much happier, healthier, and kinder to those around me. All it took was giving a second thought to something I had given up on years ago.

Did the Pandemic Give Me ADHD? Next Steps

• Read: Teleworking Strategies from Adults with ADHD
• Read: “I Hit a Wall During the Pandemic — and I Climbed Over It.”
• Read: How to Manage Time in a Disorienting Pandemic

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ADDitude recently posed this choice to newsletter subscribers, and received mixed responses. Some adults with ADHD say they feel suffocated by a lack of flexibility in their days. They thrive with a flexible and customized daily schedule that increases creativity and channels their hyperfocus. Others say they need the structure of a rigid work schedule to hold them accountable and prevent procrastination. Which habits and routines work best for your ADHD brain? Share your ideal work schedule in the Comments section below.

Flexible Work Schedules for ADHD

“A strict schedule does help me get more done for a couple days, but eventually the lack of flexibility aggravates my ADHD symptoms. I skip meetings, ignore messages from colleagues, and take 3-hour breaks. I feel as if I’m in a room full of lasers, desperately contorting myself to avoid setting off an alarm so I can steal something I don’t even want.” – David

“I have always held positions within my field that were rigid, overly structured, and left little to no room for creativity or even a break. During the pandemic, I applied for a job that was the opposite, and I am the happiest I have ever been in my career. My ADHD brain is free to enjoy each project and to hyperfocus on the tasks that really matter.” – Anonymous

“Micromanaging and the daily pressure of a tight schedule causes anxiety and makes me run on adrenaline; good for the short term but detrimental in the long term. I prefer the pressure of a goal but the autonomy and flexibility to choose my own schedule.” – Anonymous

[Free Handout: How to Better Manage Your Time at Work

“Rigidity makes me rebellious. I like the freedom to choose the things on which I work. And I love the flexibility of going with the flow of life’s curves.” – Jen

“This choice was difficult for me. I ultimately chose a freeform work schedule because I prefer to choose my daily tasks and tend to get resentful when I’m told what to do.” – Lauren

“I hate rigid work schedules – I must have freedom to develop creative solutions. I feel like my practices and solutions have always been more effective than those of other places I’ve worked, but only because I don’t tie my ego to outcomes. My solutions are a work-in-progress and I take great joy in modifying and perfecting them.” – Anonymous

“I’ve done best in exempt positions that allow me to work long hours outside of the typical work day. If my time is limited to a rigid daily schedule, I require rigid directions to follow so I won’t get caught up in perfectionism and ‘what if’s.’” – Anonymous

[Read this Next: ADHD Minds Are Trapped in Now (& Other Time Management Truths)

Rigid Work Schedules for ADHD

“My previous job had a very freeform workday. I was shut in my office all day and just had to have the project done by the deadline. I would sit there staring at my computer, accomplishing nothing for days at a time, or focusing way too hard on tiny details. It would get down to the last week and I’d have to take my work home and pull all-nighters. Even though it annoys me to no end to be told when to do things, I learned that I don’t yet have the skills to manage my entire schedule by myself. Procrastination always wins over, and the last few days before the deadline are painful.” – Anonymous

“I hate rigidity, but have come to recognize that it’s necessary for me to function at work. Every decision I have to make is a place for my brain to stumble or lose inertia. A big part of getting organized for me is removing the number of times I have to ask, ‘What next?’” – Anonymous

“I tend to procrastinate projects with long term deadlines until the very last minute. If I’m given a rigid schedule in which I don’t have to make as many decisions, I don’t panic over all the possible choices. It helps me complete tasks faster and more methodically. It’s like multiple choice rather than write-in answers – multiple choice has always been easier for me to do.” – Anonymous

“If I don’t have a rigid schedule, I don’t know what to do with myself and become very depressed. I dislike weekends unless I know I have a project to accomplish. Without a checklist, I will spend hours internalizing negative thoughts like, ‘I don’t have friends to do things with.’ I love Monday, when I know I am going to work out with my friends, come home and take care of the animals, and then go to work!”  – Kimberly

“Long-term deadlines are too far out; I’d have all that time and still probably wait until the last minute. I believe I’d enjoy a freeform daily schedule more, but that doesn’t mean I’d be any more productive. Rigid structure and fewer decisions are the best thing for my wandering mind.” – Tom

“I have a hard time focusing and can get lost in the big picture, so I find it more manageable to accomplish smaller tasks on a strict time limit.” – Anonymous

“Long-term tasks will get done the day before they are due, and that usually leads to sloppy or incomplete work. I need structure, and to feel some pressure, so defined daily tasks are ideal for me.” – Pamela

“This past year has confirmed that I need other people and to be outside my small apartment to stay motivated. Isolation, without a hard deadline, leaves me frozen and my lack of action makes me feel ashamed. During the pandemic, I started lying to people about what I was getting done because unsolicited ‘just do it’ advice makes me too defensive. I am constantly worried about alienating or pushing away well-meaning people with rejection sensitive responses.” – Anonymous

Work Schedules for ADHD Minds: Next Steps

• Self-Test: Signs of Executive Function Disorder in Adults
• Read: Time Wasters and Productivity Killers
• Download: Get Control of Your Life and Schedule

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Transitions Trip Up ADHD Brains

ADHD brains do not excel at transitions — especially those that involve shutting down a preferred task and opening up a non-preferred task. Any parent who’s tried to move a child from video games to homework knows this is true. Any adult with ADHD who has resisted a change in routine and schedule (hello, pandemic) also knows this is true. And draining.

How Time Timer Helps

The Time Timer Original 3” is the perfect visual timer for keeping students and professionals on track while working and studying from home. As time elapses, the red disk disappears, therefore increasing focus and making the abstract concept of time concrete. Clinically proven to increase self-regulation in children, this 60-minute Time Timer model includes a Dry Erase Activity Card that can be slotted into the top of the timer for visual schedules and time-to-task management. Ease transitions between activities and make expectations clear while working and learning from home.

Enter to Win a Time Timer

To win one of five Time Timer Original 3” (a $29.95 value each), use the Comments section below to tell us: What are your (or your child’s) bumpiest transitions? What is your secret to smoothing them out?

Deadline

Wednesday, March 31, 2021, at 11:59 pm EST.

Rules

Only Comments posted with a valid email address will be considered valid entries. One entry per household per day. The editors of ADDitude will select five winners at random and notify them via email on Thursday, April 1, 2021.
(Official rules)

THIS ARTICLE IS PART OF ADDITUDE’S FREE PANDEMIC COVERAGE
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It only took a few weeks for Zoom to become a household verb. Parents scrambled to connect kids with their teachers on the web conferencing platform. Office meetings — once held in bare rooms with limited distractions — were now multimedia affairs with kids and pets as a backdrop. Paying attention in a virtual meeting ignoring all of life’s noise became a challenge for everyone. But for those with ADHD, the Brady Bunch-esque grids of meeting attendees continue to pulverize us with visual over-stimulation.

I am incredibly grateful for Zoom. I was able to virtually interview for my job during the April 2020 surge and bond with my new team. I don’t think Zoom is as awkward for most people as it is for me. But here are the four main challenges I face… and the silver lining of each.

1. Visual distractions are everywhere.

People are fascinating. Many adults with ADHD — including me — function like social anthropologists and hyperfocus on new stimuli. Studying our co-workers in their native environments is captivating. We laugh as pets and children wiggle onto laps during Zoom calls. We admire home décor. We ask about exotic fish. We admire virtual backgrounds. I almost lost it when a cat walked across the desk of a coworker with an outer space background. Cats in space? I have to take a picture. Oh, wait. I’m still in a meeting. What did the guy from marketing just say?

I need to pay attention. But it’s impossible not to sleuth out other backgrounds. It’s like an Easter egg hunt — except everyone else is listening to the meeting and I am hunting for eggs. For the most part, people with ADHD don’t do well with auditory learning or cues. We are visual. Unless a presentation is shared on screen, my mind wanders.

[Read This Next: Where Focus, Fatigue, and Fidgeting Meet]

Silver lining: Noticing personal touches is a way to connect with my team in an authentic way. And with the host’s permission, I can record meetings for later reference. Recording in-person meetings would be too difficult (and creepy) to do in real life.

2. I have to sit still.

I get fidgety. It’s usually about 10 minutes into a Zoom call when I start craving the distraction of a snack. I switch my video off and dash downstairs to the pantry and then back upstairs with my headphones still in my ears. I know I’m on mute. But what if people can hear me chewing my lemon Luna bar? I develop Zoomuteaphobia, a self-classified condition marked by paranoia that the mute button will fail.

Silver lining: I splurged on a balance ball chair. Now I can wiggle around and strengthen my core at the same time.

3. Everyone is staring at me.

As I update my team members on a project, my brain is on edge as 10 faces stare blankly at me. Cue my rejection sensitive dysphoria — that sour sidecar of ADHD. Are they waiting for me to fail as I stumble through my words? Of course not. I joined one of the most supportive and kind teams with which I’ve ever worked.

[Additional Reading: “How I Learned to Love Slack”]

Still, I imagine what their thoughts could be. How many times is she going to say “um?” Why does she grimace every time someone asks her a question?  In reality, my team is not waiting for me to mess up. They are keeping up with email on the side or studying other meeting attendees in the gallery view. Or they’re distracted like me, shooing cats from keyboards or eating their own lemon Luna bars.

Silver lining: I switch away from the gallery view to focus only on the person speaking. Maintaining eye contact through a computer feels more comfortable than the intensity triggered by in-person eye contact. Plus, humans will meet in person again one day. I’m sharpening my skills to come back stronger than before.

4. Conversations can be awkward.

It happens on almost every call. I begin to talk at the same time as someone else. It’s awkward. But the polar opposite — silence — is worse. I can identify at least two times I asked a question or delivered an update in a meeting, only to be met with blank stares. Sometimes blank stares are caused by frozen internet connections – but sometimes they are not. It’s hard to be okay with that.

Silver lining: While reviewing the meetings I (hopefully) recorded, I listen carefully to dialogue from colleagues whose conversational styles I admire.

5. Pushing Forward

Virtual meetings will remain a staple even as the pandemic clears. Though I feel like a talking head on TV, I realize no one expects me to speak like a professional broadcaster. I don’t have to be sorry for making nervous gestures. As my mentors assure me, it’s okay to say “I don’t know the answer to that, but I’ll find out and get back to you.”

Zoom can be awkward, yes. Zoom also keeps us safe and cozy in our homes. It helps many of us continue working, attending virtual school, and visiting with family. The universe made a point of this literally just as I finished this last paragraph. A good friend texted; her husband tested positive for COVID-19. He was likely infected by his boss at work. I’m reminded how lucky I am to be physically distanced from my own team at work. We’re all safer because of Zoom and other web conferencing apps. For me, the safety and connection offered via Zoom is worth these ADHD-specific challenges a million times over.

Zoom and the ADHD Brain: Next Steps

• Read: ADHD Brains Working at Home: A Beginner’s Guide to Telecommuting
• Learn: 8 Secrets to Finding Focus While Working from Home with ADHD
• Understand: The ADHD WFH Guide: 7 Ways to Build Essential Structure Right Now

SUPPORT ADDITUDE
Thank you for reading ADDitude. To support our mission of providing ADHD education and support, please consider subscribing. Your readership and support help make our content and outreach possible. Thank you.

ADHD and Zoom Exhaustion

Q: “The triple whammy of the pandemic, the economy, and now the protests is exhausting. Is it normal for my focus and productivity to decrease because of all this? Some days I feel overwhelmed and hopeless.”

A: Let’s not beat around the bush; it is overwhelming and it is a lot for us to bear. Many, many people are feeling overwhelmed and exhausted now. Zoom exhaustion and mental fatigue are real things. You have to pay more attention when you work online because you have to focus harder on fewer visual cues to read what is going on with the other person.

Normally, we get a wide range of cues — we rely on body language, sounds, and visual information. Now we have to rely just on visual information that we process in a very small window. This is stressful — not just for our eyes and our brains but also for our emotional selves. We are also trying to process information from multiple people at once within the Zoom confines, and this is further stressful for brains with ADHD and executive function challenges that need more time to take in information, figure out what it means, and then to respond. That’s harder to do online, so there is a constant level of pressure and stress.

How can you address that exhaustion? Have some type of daily non-screen, nurturing activity that feels like self care. It’s easy to be on your computer throughout the day, have dinner, and then watch TV at night. But that isn’t going to actually enliven you. I force myself to shut down my computer at lunch time, read the newspaper, get outside and take a walk. That’s what it looks like for me to give myself permission to extricate myself from that online world, which persists constantly.”

ADHD and Pandemic Fatigue

Q: “I find that I’m way more scatterbrained now, even on my medication I’m forgetting stuff way more and it’s extremely frustrating. This should not be happening; I’m in my 30s! Is the pandemic anxiety and stress and worry enhancing some of the ADHD symptoms even though I’m still taking my medication? I often say I’m in my 30s with Alzheimer’s because that’s how bad it is!”

A: You do not have Alzheimer’s. What you have is a stressed out ADHD brains. And stress affects your brain, particularly your working memory. Emotions drive working memory; that is how we attach importance to things and recall it. Whatever intense feelings you are having — anxiety, sadness, stress, tension, disappointment — your already-weakened executive function skills will be further compromised.

Lower your expectations about your performance a bit. Maybe your expectations are a bit too high for yourself — and maybe for your kids, too.

Use tools to build working memory skills. Alerts. Reminders. Technology can be your friend. Post-Its. Brain breaks to integrate information. And when you are giving information to a child who has ADHD, make eye contact, state your direction, and ask them to repeat it back to you — not once but twice. I call this the Rule of 3 because it’s that second repetition that helps with encoding in the working memory.

ADHD and Lack of Motivation

Q: “I really get down on myself when I can’t seem to ‘bootstrap’ myself to get going. My friends are able to motivate themselves even during the pandemic. It’s easy to spiral into frustration, anger, and self loathing when you can’t seem to muster up the energy or momentum to complete the things you want to or have to.”

A: The first thing I want to say is, be kinder to yourself, please! The online world fosters comparisons that all make us feel worse about ourselves. Because we are online a lot, we are susceptible to these comparisons and they are not real — no one can live up to that ideal posted online.

I remember one of my 15-year-old clients said to me once, “No one ever posts on Facebook that they have a breakout on their face or they got a C on their last paper.” No, people don’t. What they’re posting is their beautiful dinner and how well they are managing. I’m here to tell you: It’s OK to have lost focus and productivity. It’s OK to struggle with motivation. I was talking with a friend who is a musician and she was saying that many musicians have lost motivation now because they have lost what they love most: performing with other people. So, yes, it is absolutely normal to lack motivation For people with ADHD who struggle with motivation, it is doubly difficult.

I would encourage you to meet procrastination and lethargy by doing the following:

• break your tasks into smaller chunks
• schedule 10-minute breaks where you leave the room and your computer; leave yourself a note so you can go back to it
• hydrate
• get some fresh air

Since graduating in 2011 — with dual honors and two degrees (in criminology and psychology) — I’ve had at least seven jobs. I started as a claims management specialist at a health insurance company but got fired after 11 months. They didn’t trust me with the phone. The Navy dropped me at the interview stage. Six months at a lawyer’s office came next. Teaching English (after completing the certification process first) was where I had some success — I taught for three years at three different schools abroad in Jakarta.

In 2016, I changed course again. I went back to school, earned a master’s degree, and became a journalist.

It’s Work, Nothing Personal…

Why all this bouncing around? I had no idea I had ADHD until late in 2019.

It’s like being a short-sighted horse lead out of the stable onto a racetrack. Everyone tells you you’re a quick stallion and will have no problem winning the race, but you can’t see the track and keep running at top speed into hurdles that everyone else can clearly see — and jump.

[Get This Free Download: 20 Questions to Reveal Your Career Calling]

A distressing pattern emerged everywhere I worked: After six or nine months, a single, usually quite bad incident would occur that would make my bosses uncomfortable and a bit confused.

My brain would jump instantly from “something’s gone slightly wrong” to “I’m totally getting fired again,” which is scary. Then I’d ask out loud if I was getting fired, which of course just put the idea in their head.

So stressed with anxiety, I’d stop sleeping as they mulled putting the matter to human resources. The stress and lack of sleep would make me incapable of handling my problem rationally. Add to that personality quirks like making jokes when you’re nervous, and things that are actually fine devolve quickly into a kerfuffle.

[Could You Have Generalized Anxiety Disorder? Take This Self-Test]

Day to day, I’d get embarrassed over little errors and details I’d missed and come back with short sharp replies, or a rushed and often awkward excuse/reason that was much more than was needed. I didn’t learn to shut up, apologize for minor things, and just calmly explain what happened until I was 27.

To managers, I became increasingly unpredictable and distracted but was otherwise a good employee. I was just “weird” and loud, a potential problem for bosses who would then “not know how to handle” me. They became alarmed and suspicious — in no small part because of my rapidly growing history of distractibility, lack of attention to detail, and quirkiness.

When confronted, I’d panic and stumble over my words and get confused over what was and wasn’t real. I’d jump in and finish sentences. I’d challenge and question people intensely and aggressively to establish and, be seen to establish, control of the situation. There was never a specific reason for my awkward or excessive actions — we didn’t know why I was forgetful. Why I couldn’t stay on task. Why I took criticism so badly. Given how hard I tried, it made no sense.

HR Meetings and Other Disasters

Formal HR meetings were inevitable, and so were my reactions.

I’d get defensive and intense, which was confusingly coupled with an intelligent, well-planned argument written out on paper with the logic and clarity of a lawyer. The generic, corporate process was typically led by someone who didn’t really care but for me, it felt like my life was on the line.

In the moment, I’d be heavily engaged but only process the superlative version of what was being said. I never remembered anything positive, would nit-pick irrelevant points, and in doing so suffocate effective communication. Another devastating pattern.

When things got out of control, I would get psychological help from my general practitioner. I aced all the tests for anxiety and depression and doctors always concluded that was the problem. The ADHD behaviors remained undetected for years, during which time they caused increasing frustration and confusion for myself and those who supported me.

The sad thing is I loved my jobs — all of them — and defined myself by each one. It always felt personal because it was. I worked hard but was ultimately culled off anyway. I didn’t want to let anyone down but I did. When you aren’t properly supported, that guilt and frustration is heartbreaking.

I couldn’t understand that I wasn’t supposed to feel that unhappy and that my trouble was not a personal fault.

Learning from Loss

All that job loss and recovery taught me a lot. Here’s what I’ve gleaned:

• Listen to the voice in your head. If it’s telling you, “I don’t want to be here,” leave. You won’t regret it.
• Mental health is more important than a paycheck. Losing your job with your mental health intact is much better than being made to feel incompetent for months on end. You’ll find a way to make ends meet until the next job comes along.
• It’s also ok to write things off as a bad day. You’re not perfect. Perfection doesn’t exist.
• Get up and get the job done. Remember what Confucius said. “Our greatest glory is not in never falling but in rising every time we fall.” It’s true. When you’ve been floored so many times, having the will to pick yourself up and keep going makes you and your support network strong — and is a lot more valuable than the job you lost.
• Learn from every experience. Take the time to consider what you liked and didn’t like in the job you just lost and what you want in your next job. Write it down. Learn from it.

Success at Last

Writing has always helped me focus and given me clarity. It’s a wonderful coping tool because it allows me to edit, re-word, and re-organize my thoughts. When I’m at my most chaotic and feeling vulnerable, writing helps me make sense of and face complex problems, which is how I ended up in my current career: journalism.

Working as a journalist is challenging, respected (well…), diverse, fast-paced, fact-based, and yet also creative. It gives me a way to make a difference and has a touch of showmanship, too. That’s why I love it.

I think I’ve finally arrived at the right place. All I have to do is talk less, listen carefully, make no excuses, and ask questions when things don’t make sense — even when it’s awkward — a natural habitat for a curious ADHD mind.

[Click to Read: Am I Going to Get Fired? ADHD Hazards at Work]

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But I would like to suggest a new theory: A brand or organization can achieve meaningful competitive advantage by recruiting from a largely untapped talent pool — workers with attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD), autism, and other neurodevelopmental conditions.

I’m a human resources consultant based in the UK with decades of experience. And I’m so convinced of the competitive advantage of neurodiverse thinking that I’m writing a book to help HR professionals and managers understand why inclusive workplaces spark magic and how to achieve meaningful diversity at their companies.

I’ve seen how neurodiversity can mean the difference between solving a problem and continuing to struggle with it. Here’s an example: Glaxo, a large global healthcare company with which I worked, was struggling to solve a complicated client problem. The team charged with cracking it had been working together for quite a while and, despite having a mix of genders and ethnicity, it couldn’t hit on the right solution — group think had become a barrier.

I set up some small focus groups to invigorate the process and one — with a young autistic man who also had ADHD — blew me away. I noticed he’d been completely quiet for the first 30 minutes and suspected he had something to contribute.

[Click to Read: Here’s What Happened When I Revealed My ADHD on LinkedIn]

When I asked to hear his view, he opened by saying, “If you stand on your head…,” then proceeded to unwrap the problem. He’d read everything about the subject before arriving at the focus group, looked at the problem uniquely — the opposite way from everyone else — and steered the team to a remarkable solution.

ADHD Misconceptions

Growing up, I associated ADHD with middle and high school students who — thanks to their pushy parents — received extra support or more time for exams. I’d shake my head and wonder why kids who were obviously permitted to consume large amounts of sugar (usually in the form of bright orange drinks) were rewarded this way. Their accommodations never seemed fair to me.

Boy, was I mistaken.

What I’ve learned in the years since is that ADHD is not a disease — and it cannot be “cured.” It’s a disorder that can be treated effectively and also harnessed for great things. Like autism, ADHD varies in how it manifests. Most who are diagnosed with it have some degree of difficulty concentrating, are impulsive, and experience periods of high activity that are also highly productive.

[Could You Have Autism Spectrum Disorder? Take This Self-Test Now]

In my experience, people with ADHD are overwhelmingly bright and clever. The ADHD brain has been found structurally different from the neurotypical brain, which is part of the reason why it’s able to tackle problems that stump others and jump to solutions that no one else saw. To accommodate greater inclusivity in the workplace, it’s important to understand how ADHD impacts a person’s life.

The ADHD Nurse

Meet Sue, a wonderful nurse, and an asset to the clinic where she works. When properly supported, Sue is one of the most productive members of her medical team, with clarity and insight that go way beyond the norm. Her energy and hard work benefit both her patients and her peers. Sue wasn’t diagnosed with ADHD until adulthood but manages well with medication and counseling. Here’s what a typical day in her life looks like.

• Forgetfulness is a constant companion. She’s regularly locked out of the house, or her car, because she frequently forgets her keys. Sue writes appointments in her diary, then forgets to look. She knows she needs her medication, but forgets to order it. These symptoms are extremely frustrating and caused by ADHD-related working memory challenges.
• Grocery shopping is a nightmare. There’s no such thing as a simple trip to the supermarket. Sue gets completely distracted by all the special offers and the annoying regularity with which products are moved around the store. Much too often, she arrives at home with random food that can’t be used to make a meal and has to return to the store. Her personal record? Five separate trips to get what she actually needed. Meal planning doesn’t happen and cooking regularly fails.
• Life is either lived at full speed or a dead stop. When she’s fully engaged with a problem, Sue can become passionate, focused, and very productive — these are her “superwoman moments.” They don’t last forever but can provide some of her best ideas and breakthroughs.
• Ruminating in her own thoughts can be a problem. Sue likes to analyze and reflect so much she can get stuck. At these times, it can be difficult to move forward as she processes all the data whirring around in her head.
• Being overly sensitive to push-back or challenges sometimes creates difficulty at work. Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria (RSD) — intense emotional pain and sensitivity to perceived or real criticism — is closely associated with ADHD. Without the right support, her self-confidence is knocked out, her self-esteem lowered, and her productivity plummets.

11 Ways to Support ADHD Employees and Avoid Employment Roadblocks

Three percent of the population has ADHD. Chances are you currently work with someone with ADHD — even if they aren’t formally diagnosed. There are plenty of ADHD success stories out there — Richard Branson and will.i.am to name a few. To reap the benefits of a genuinely inclusive workplace, you must be willing to make some adjustments. Here are some ways to attract neurodiversity to your workplace and avoid employment roadblocks when working with neurodiverse employees.

#1. ADHD is a real disorder. Learn all that you can about it.

#2. Encourage neurodiverse hiring practices and accommodate reasonable interview requests from candidates with ADHD when they apply for a role.

#3. Consider providing access to coaching support to give employees with ADHD a way to seek help when they need it.

#4. Allow “time outs” to give employees with ADHD an opportunity to pause and regroup.

#5. Recognize that team retreats or long, off-site meetings may be extremely stressful for people with ADHD. Be sure to schedule plenty of breaks and enough downtime for quiet thinking and reflection.

#6. Deliver feedback in a positive way. Be sure to provide context. Employees with ADHD need to be shown there is always a way forward. Never mark-up a Word document and return it by email. Explain your input and why it matters by talking through your comments in person. The face-to-face connection is important.

#7. Consider sharing your cellphone number with an employee to use as a helpline. People with ADHD benefit from individualized support. Allowing them to vent or talk through difficulties with you can prevent workplace dilemmas from getting out of hand.

#8. Avoid insensitive remarks. Never use phrases like “toughen-up” or “stop being so sensitive.” Telling an employee to “just concentrate on this, for now, ” can sound condescending. Asking “have you had your meds today?” is also a very bad idea.

#9. Accept minor errors in written work. There may be gems buried in those spelling mistakes. Avoid criticism. Instead, find a way to take the best bits and enhance them.

#10.Appreciate their vulnerability. When people with ADHD do something for the first time, they may feel very insecure and more sensitive than usual.

#11. Don’t shame them for being emotional. Give them a chance to talk through an upsetting problem with you. It will resolve if you give it a little time.

Sue has a fun hypothesis. She says adults with ADHD are either cooks or cleaners, but never both. Sue can’t cook, but she enjoys cleaning her home and knows exactly which products she needs and never forgets them when out shopping! She’s been asking her ADHD friends what they think and so far everyone is in agreement. Adults with ADHD either love cooking or cleaning, but not both!

Sometimes the fog of ADHD is dense, but if we create space for employees like Sue to reflect and recover, the creative energy and input they will invest in our teams and work will be more than worth the wait.

[Read This Next: How to Get Work Done and Avoid Getting Distracted, Again]

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