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“Misunderstood”

In this poem, an entry in ADDitude’s ADHD Awareness Month sweepstakes, a child explains his experiences with ADHD and the stigma associated with it.

By J.T.P. Updated on February 5, 2021
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The following poem was written and submitted by an ADDitude reader in our ADHD Awareness Month sweepstakes.

Focus.
Focus.
Focus.
I can’t sit at the perfect student desk, but I have no choice
Teacher doesn’t assign an imperfect desk.
No place for me, no time for me.
The meds.
Those meds.
Every morning I take medication so I can fit in with
The perfect kids
The focused kids that sit in the perfect desk, the focused desk.
But no, never will I ever sit at the perfect desk, never will I ever be the teacher’s favorite because
Who likes the kids with ADHD, the ADD kids, the inattentive kids?
But why me? Why do I seem to be the one and only one like me?
But who is there in the dark and cold life of ADHD
The upside-down of the right-side-up?

Focus.
Focus.
Focus.
I seem to be the negative magnet of the world – I make compasses point south.
I don’t know why
But no matter how hard I try I still repel people away.
Then there’s the monster, the phone at home that rings every other day I say
The numbers are always the same.
1-800-you’re-in trouble
The teacher.
My teacher.
Did you hear what you son did today?

Focus.
Focus.
Focus.
Hooray, it’s Saturday.
No more time at school.
No more time to feel like a fool.
But no – you can’t escape the inattentiveness. You can’t escape your disorder.
The arguments at home
The despicable yelling back and forth.
I don’t understand  – have you not listened?
I have beast of burden in the back on my head
It controls me without my consent.
It’s called an impulse
It’s related to the ADD species
I’ve tried; there’s no cure to this.

I’ve taken the meds and swallowed different pills.
None of them worked only made things worse.
It’s a big cost to sit at the perfect desk, the focused desk
But I won’t be able to sleep or eat
I’ll be angrier than normal
There’ll be headaches and rebounds
Stomach aches and dizziness
Or I could constantly get in trouble
I could get yelled at at home
I could be teased and bullied all the time at school
I could have no friends at all
I could have lots of anxiety
I could fail to become who I always wanted to be

But meds or not one thing is clear when you are born with ADHD ADD Whatever you want to call it
No matter how many times you’re told you’re not
You’ll always be misunderstood and will change not.

ADHD Poems: Next Steps

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